Friday, May 29, 2009

Unjustly Accused

Doesn't it drive you crazy how your brain can replay a tape over and over? Last night I had trouble sleeping as I tried to resolve a comment someone made to me yesterday. Did I feel unjustly accused? Or was there some measure of truth in what the person said? Was I being unteachable or defiant in defending myself? After getting back up to read for a while I was tired enough to go back to bed...and the tape starting playing again. Finally, I fell asleep with the issue unresolved.

This morning I awoke with the realization that the reason I felt so defensive was that there was some measure of truth in what had been said. And while I didn't feel I was "as guilty" as accused, I was still guilty in thought if not deed. So, I'll pray about this today and ask for forgiveness for my sin as well as the ability to stop wallowing in self-pity (everyone picks on me, right?). Ick. This isn't easy. But if I want to stop the tape playing in my brain, it's the first step.


No comments: