Friday, June 4, 2010

A Sad Friday

I'm a little blue today. One of the families my daughter babysits for has suffered a tragic loss. The mom was 8.5 months pregnant and the baby (a boy) stopped moving.  One emergency c-section later, they delivered a perfectly formed, ready for life, but lifeless child. His umbilical cord had become kinked and trapped.

It mystifies me how the abortion lobby can say that this was not a child. He would have been able to sustain life had he been delivered in time - even at 8.5 months. He was big enough to be buried, not disposed of as medical waste.

From the moment he started moving within her, to this mother, he was a baby, just waiting to meet his new family. Now the mom and dad are struggling with how to mourn and still provide wisdom and understanding for their 5 year old daughter and 3 year old son.

I went to go buy a card for them, and even at the vaunted Hallmark store, it was a struggle to find something appropriate. The "loss of your child" cards said things like "sustained by memories".  This baby didn't live long enough for them to build memories that the card referred to. And there were tons of "loss of" cards for parents, grandparents and even pets, but very few for children. I guess that's a good thing that it reflects the market in which a small percentage of children don't make it.

But I found one that spoke of the certainty of heaven and the love the Lord has for little ones. (This family is also Christian). I sent it today along with an offer to take the older ones for some stretches of time as the mom needs it. But I'm still sad -- and this is kind of dumb, but when I saw the front page of the Washington Post today, with a photo of the bird covered in oil, my heart was breaking for the birds on the coast. It made me want to grab an industrial size bottle of DAWN and a scrub brush and our canoe and head to Louisiana.

Perhaps I'm just a wee bit more emotional than I normally am.

And my daughter is torn between crying huge tears and wanting to not think about the baby.  Or the oil spill. Or other stuff that makes her sad.  Me too.

If you feel moved, say a prayer for the M family. Thanks.


The Bug said...

Oh how terribly sad - I'm so sorry for that family.

I posted a poem a few minutes ago that turned into being about the oil spill (although that's not how it started out). I guess it's on most people's minds these days.

Anonymous said...

Life takes on such mysterious ways sometimes. I'll never understand things that happen like this. And if you will pardon me Kelley but this is one reason I have such a hard time believing in God. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I don't want to get into a debate with you or anyone else about that subject but when I read things like this it just always make me question the whole thing. Please know I send my total Aloha and as much Sunshine as I can to the family and you you and your daughter. :

quilly said...

I prayed for the M family, and offered prayers of gratitude for your kind heart, and asked the Lord to be with your daughter as she tries to come to terms with her emotions.

Susan at Stony River said...

Oh no -- so sad. They'll all be in my prayers. I can understand the canoe urges! Tragedies always make me so desperate to fix things, *any* things, no matter how big or small. And those poor birds and fish need all the help they can get now.

So do the hearts of the M's, I suppose...but Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.

SouthLakesMom said...

Thank you, all of you. I'm tearing up now as I read these - people who don't even "know" me, but care.

And, since I cut up onions and peppers for dinner, the tears sting!

I guess I'll post the recipe so others can enjoy the sting!

Thom, just the fact that you say what you do, is so precious and loving. I think somewhere deep down you do believe. I know there are many of us who 'know' you via your blog who see the love of God shining out of you!

Sweet Tea said...

I'm very sad for this family and for all of you who love and care about them. What a hugs loss.
I prayed for this family per your request.

Mary said...

That is very sad. There are times when we don't understand why, but we always know there's a reason.

Rosidah Abidin said...

My heartfelt sympathy and deepest condolences on the great loss. My good thoughts and prayers go out to the M family. This is such a sad happening. I hope the Mom recovers soon physically and mentally.

SouthLakesMom said...

Thank you to all of your for the prayers. I think our next challenge will be the first time daughter goes over to babysit.

I love that I can post something like this, and the prayers for this family circle the globe. What a joy to be able to encourage and support one another this way. It truly is the best use of blogging.

Anonymous said...

I hope things are going well for everyone back there. This is still so sad but think positive thoughts. You may be right my friend. I don't know but I'm just going to leave it be the way it is for right now :)

jabblog said...

That is desperately sad. I hope the parents were able to hold their baby and have photographs of him. My niece's first baby died shortly after birth and there are no words to comfort.